![]() Avoiding them will only lead to more hurt and misunderstanding. Shift away from the blame-game: Don’t focus on blame => Map out the contribution system to learn what’s truly behind the problem and how to correct it.ĭigest these powerful tips in minutes with our summary & infographic!įeelings are often at the heart of difficult conversations.Clarify intentions: Don’t assume they meant the bad outcomes => Separate the intent of their actions from the impact.Uncover the truth: Don’t argue about who’s right => Explore each other’s stories.In our complete Difficult Conversations summary we break these down in detail, including how exactly you can: Blame: We’re quick to blame others, which blocks us from examining other factors (including ourselves) that may have contributed to the situation.you think your colleague is shouting to humiliate you, when he’s just trying to make himself heard above the noise. Intention: We assume we know the intention behind the other party’s action or non-action, when we may be totally wrong, e.g. ![]() For example, “you’re too inexperienced” or “you’re driving too fast” are not facts they’re merely opinions. Truth: We assume that “I’m right and you’re wrong” when most difficult conversations are really about conflicts in subjective values or perceptions.We each feel that our viewpoint is correct, when in reality we make wrong assumptions on 3 fronts: This conversation centers around different views about what happened (or should happen), who’s right, who’s to blame etc. You can get specific tips, details and examples from our full book summary. Here’s a quick overview of the key issues and strategies to address them. Specifically, there are 3 types of difficult conversations, each with its own sets of issues and complications. Do get a copy of our full Difficult Conversations summary ( click here for 16-page summary) for specific tips and examples or get the full mojo from the Difficult Conversations book.Įvery difficult conversation follows a certain structure. In this article, we’ll briefly outline the issues behind difficult conversations and how to create a learning conversation. Learn how to manage the 3 types of conversations.Shift your goal from persuasion to learning and.To handle difficult conversations effectively, you must: Issues arise because each party focuses on his/her own agenda and viewpoint. to prove a point or get others to do what we want. Often, we enter a conversation to deliver a message, e.g. For the full details, examples and tips, do get a copy of the book, or get a detailed overview with our complete book summary bundle. In this Difficult Conversations summary, we’ll outline the skills and steps (by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen) for managing difficult conversations in a way that fosters understanding and effective problem-solving. ![]() Yet, most people dread them since they can make things worse if not well-handled. They are a normal, unavoidable part of our personal and professional lives. ending a relationship, asking for a pay-raise, or addressing a hurtful behavior. Difficult conversations are anything you have difficulty talking about, e.g. ![]()
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